


Without purpose

by boleyn13



Series: Let's be lonely together [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Developing Relationship, Enemies to Friends, Gen, Melancholy, Movie Night, Post-Break Up, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), loki becomes an avenger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 01:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11636496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: “Why are you constantly asking questions?”“Because… as it turns out I hardly know anything about you and believe it or not, at the moment you are the person who I spend most of my time with. Yeah, kind of sad, I know, but somehow I have the feeling you’re in the same situation. Am I right or am I right?”Loki keeps showing up at Tony's place. Probably because he is feeling lonely and so does Tony. Why not be lonely together? Unfortuantely Loki isn't very talkative while Tony is trying to make a friend





	Without purpose

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody,
> 
> Another oneshot about Tony & Loki in Post Civil War times. It is somewhat a sequel to my other story Lights off, but it can be read as a stand-alone
> 
> Have fun :D

Tony couldn’t say that nothing weird had ever happened to him in his life. Actually it would be easier to count the days where no crazy, unusual or supernatural had occurred. How many people could claim that they had been kidnapped by terrorists, fought an alien army, saved the president, created a murderous AI or built their own metal armour to fight crime? Right, there was only Tony who could say that.

Nevertheless the strangest thing had only happened to him about two weeks ago. It was too weird to even think it, saying out loud was merely impossible. One attempt couldn’t hurt, right?

Him and Loki had become friends.

No, that didn’t work. Loki and him had made a truce? Didn’t cover it either. Buddies? What the hell, names didn’t matter anyway.

Was that a logical consequence? With most the Avengers gone and on the run Tony had had to go crazy eventually. Crazy enough to stitch up Loki’s stab wound that a very petty ex-lover had bestowed on him. Even murderous Norse gods had troubles with their exes. Still to this day Tony had no idea why he had done that. Pity? Or had it been the fact that Loki had for once not acted like a complete manic?

As it turned out Loki could be pleasant company when he wasn’t trying to kill you. Tony could have sworn that this would be it. One night of watching TV and drinking beer and talking about stuff that didn’t mean anything. Tony would have never thought that Loki would show up again… still acting amiable and sane.

Well, Loki had shown up a second time and for the most amazing reason. The first time they had been watching House Of Cards and two days later Loki had come back, because he had wanted to know how the story would continue.

Such an obvious excuse. As if Loki wasn’t smart enough to figure out how to get access to Netflix himself. He wanted to watch it with Tony. Understandable. Tony knew how nasty a break-up could be, especially if your ex also tried to kill you for no reason. Being alone sucked and perhaps the whole thing was just as weird for Loki.

Until now they had got along just fine. They had a stick. Loki would appear on the balcony, come inside and Tony would start the TV without asking any questions. It had been 22 days since Loki had been ditched by his boyfriend (Tony was checking the news daily and nobody had been viciously murdered during the last three weeks) and 31 days since the letters on top of the tower were now again forming the word ‘Stark’

Sixth time they were hanging out together and Tony handed Loki a glass of white wine, because he knew that was the alcoholic beverage Loki liked most. Something he definitely shouldn’t know and Loki shouldn’t politely thank him.

Yet both of them did.

Sitting back down next to Loki Tony grabbed a handful of popcorn while Loki sipped on his wine. None of them had said a word in half an hour, Kevin Spacey was doing all the talking. Admittedly Tony wasn’t listening.

Sometime during the evening he had accepted that Loki and him were friends. At least somewhat. Maybe the universe just worked in a really fucked-up way. His friends, the ones fighting for justice and freedom, left him behind and Tony ended up with a new friend. A very bad guy… only that Tony didn’t think anymore that Loki was all that bad.

“So… uhm… I got a question.”

“Then ask it.” Loki replied without looking at him.

“Where do you hang out when you’re not here?”

“At my place.” Ever so casual and Tony sighed way too loudly. “Does that mean you actually have a place? Like a house with four walls or an apartment? In this city? Or some other dimension?”

Now Loki was finally looking at him, slightly bored though. “Are we going to watch the episode or are we going to talk?”

Fine, if he was putting it like that. After reaching for the remote Tony paused the episode. “Talking. It’s a legit question. You move around by teleportation and you have worn that hoodie before. So you must have some place where you store your clothes… because I’m not sure if you actually need to sleep. Do you sleep? Or eat? There is tons of food every time you come over and you never eat. Do you eat?”

“Which questions am I supposed to answer?”

“All of them!”

Loki didn’t even need to sigh to show that he thought this was pointless. “Yes, I do sleep and eat. Admittedly not a lot.”

“I’ve never seen you doing either.”

“I am your guest. I would be impolite to fall asleep right now.” Loki muttered drily and Tony was going to make this really hard on him. “Yeah, but it’s also highly impolite to not eat the food your host serves you.” Picking up the bowl of popcorn Tony softly shook it right in front of Loki’s face. “Come on… go for it. You don’t want to be impolite, right?”

Loki looked at him with a very blank stare and when Tony was almost sure that he had screwed up, Loki slowly reached out and took a handful of the popcorn. It was something so simple and yet it had a surprising effect on Tony. He had never seen Loki eat something. Another thing that made him a tiny little bit more human… although he wasn’t human at all.

“Can we continue to watch the episode now?”

“No, I still don’t know if you have your own place. Do you? Where do you spend your time when you aren’t here… or doing other stuff?”

Tony hadn’t even finished the question when he was already trying to imagine what Loki’s place might look like. To be honest he had no idea. Lots of pointy ornaments? Thinking about it, Tony hadn’t seen that stupid helmet in quite some time. Now Loki was always wearing normal clothes.

“I do have an apartment. I’d like to continue watching the episode.”

“Sure…” Nodding Tony decided to keep his mouth shut, but now it was rather hard to concentrate on the television. Okay, one more on the list. Loki had normal clothes, an own apartment and he’s had a human boyfriend. How had that even happened? And what was Loki doing when he wasn’t hanging out with Tony?

“Where did you…”

Genuinely annoyed Loki let out a groan and looked at Tony. “Why are you constantly asking questions?”

“Because… as it turns out I hardly know anything about you and believe it or not, at the moment you are the person who I spend most of my time with. Yeah, kind of sad, I know, but somehow I have the feeling you’re in the same situation. Am I right or am I right?”

Again, Loki didn’t respond and instead pulled a face.

“Okay, I am right. Don’t get me wrong, I love sitting here and watch all that Netflix has to offer in complete silence, but I’d actually like to learn one or two things about you. Otherwise hanging out with each other is just weird. Come on, talk to be a bit. I have a charming and interesting personality. You already know that, otherwise you wouldn’t come here. Well?”

Tony put on a dazzling smirk, at least he hoped that it was dazzling. With Loki it was always hard to tell what he was thinking. Was he really that much of a stoic person? Not quite the same as Tony remembered him during the other times they had met. Either Loki had been on drugs or the break-up had really messed him up. “You want to get to know me? Why? You want to be my friend?”

“If we aren’t friends, what’s the point in hanging out with each other? Come on, this an exchange. You can ask me too. I’m sure there’s stuff you want to know.”

“You are sure that you are that interesting?”

“Don’t start being a smart-ass. Fine, I’ll start… you can teleport, right? Why do you hang around on earth when you can go pretty much anywhere?”

Although Tony was giving him time, Loki wasn’t opening his mouth which was starting to piss Tony off. It was incredibly sad, but right now Loki was an essential part of his social life and if Loki didn’t talk to him… Well, then Tony was officially a lonely, old man. Time to get a cat and die. Damn, somebody was melodramatic tonight.

“I enjoy the darkness… and the silence.”

“Huh?” Tony almost winced at Loki’s soft voice. “What was that?”

“If you’re asking me a question, then you’re bloody well going to listen to my answer.”

“Sorry, but it took you ages! I have a very fast working brain, I was already five steps ahead of you. Give me another try. I heard silence… Silence and?” Tony tried his puppy dog eyes, but Loki merely raised an eyebrow in confusion before releasing a long breath. “I said that I enjoyed the darkness and the silence.”

That was a start. Rather weird, but since nothing about this encounter was normal, Tony was willing to run with it. “Alright… I’m not going to say anything about the darkness, because that’s just… wrong. Silence? You’re hanging around in New York City. That’s anything but silent.”

Something strange happened then. Downright bizarre. Tony swore that he could see the corners of Loki’s mouth moving upwards. Was that a smile? It looked sweet and Tony made the instant decision to try and see that smile more often. “You’ve never been to another world but this one. Believe me, it is very quiet. Not just the environment, also the way people talk. Asgard is obnoxiously loud, it was constantly giving me a headache. There are so many worlds that are so bright that even when you close your eyes, it never gets dark. Here it’s different.”

“Hate to do it again, but you’re in New York City. When you wanted to look at the stars, you turned off the power of the entire city. You could have had a dark city if you drove a couple of miles… or teleported to New Jersey.”

“I was hurt, I didn’t feel like doing anything strenuous.” Loki pointed out quietly and a nasty feeling called guilt immediately dug his claws into Tony’s flesh. Seriously? How stupid could anyone be? Way to go to bring up an unpleasant memory. The moment he realised that he enjoyed having Loki around, he was going to fuck it up. Naturally…

“My turn to ask a question. You are squirming in your chair. Why?” Loki had raised one eyebrow and Tony instantly tried to sit completely still. “No. Not squirming.”

“Stark…”

“Fine, alright. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with asking about… your ex-boyfriend or him stabbing you. You know, that kind of stuff… Wow, I really suck at this, don’t I?”

Blinking in confusion Tony couldn’t believe that there was another smile on Loki’s lips. “Yes, you’re actually terrible at making conversation. You got to see me in a very fragile state and now you think that mentioning it is enough to make me feel uncomfortable. It’s not.”

“Okay, then I’ll go down the rabbit hole. I’ve asked that before, but I can’t stop wondering. How did you meet that guy? You’re not hanging out in bars, are you?”

And if he did, Tony wanted to know where these bars were.

Loki could claim that the topic of this conversation didn’t bother him all he wanted. It was easy to tell that how his voice got a little shyer when he talked about this specific conversation topic. “In a book store. He commented on the books I had chosen and then he asked for my phone number.”

“Do you have a phone number?”

“Yes.”

“That is the weirdest thing I’ve heard today… No, in a week. You gave your phone number to him? Some random guy? A human being? How hot was that guy?” Tony had serious trouble believing that.

In mild fascination he watched Loki running his fingers along the edge of his wine glass. “I liked him. That happens, you know. Sometimes I meet people that I like…”

Tony felt his mouth run dry and when he tried to reply he found out that he had to clear his throat before being able to answer. “Why should that be hard to believe?”

Shrugging Loki took a sip from his wine. “Not hard to believe. You were wondering why I am here.”

Now that was definitely too much to take. A shiver was running down Tony’s spine and it downright shocked him that it wasn’t the bad kind. “Are you saying that…”

This was a phrase that Tony definitely would have finished if Loki hadn’t suddenly turned back to the television screen. “Can we continue to watch now?”

For a couple of seconds Tony didn’t know what to say and so he nodded. “Okay… yeah. Sure.”

Unfortunately Tony was very bad at keeping his mouth shut and so it took about 10 seconds then the babbling started again. “You know… you’re also not half bad. Which should be clear, I would have already thrown you out otherwise… I haven’t done that, so you’re obviously an okay guy. Now… four years ago that would have been different, but now… you are decent to hang out with… actually you’re probably the most fun person I hung out with in ages… that includes most of the Avengers… where did I want to go with this? Right, I like you too. Not so hard to admit?”

Obviously that confession wasn’t good enough for Loki to turn his head. “Please, just stop talking.”

“Why? I’m just trying to have a conversation, because I want to understand you better. Get to know you a little bit. Right now I don’t know more about you than… you had a nasty break-up, you’re into self-righteous psychos that clearly aren’t good enough for you and although you are known to be an arrogant ass, you are the one that got screwed over.”

Why was Loki now looking at him like this? In that weird ‘Are you really saying this shit right now’ way? “What?”

“You really don’t see the parallels, do you?”

Tony frowned and then shrugged. At least Loki was talking again. Perhaps beating around the bush wasn’t the best approach. So Tony was going to cut the bullshit now. Putting the popcorn bowl away Tony skidded a bit closer to make sure Loki’s attention was totally on him and not on Frank Underwood. “I just want to know if you’re going to start doing bad guys things again. Like trying to wipe out humanity or even something more low-key… like turning all the skyscrapers into lollipops. Anything like that in the works? Because I kind of don’t feel like fighting you now that we’re Netflix buddies.”

“I have no idea what I am going to do.”

“Uhm… Loki, that doesn’t sound all that reassuring.”

Watching Loki’s face Tony noticed that he got the same faraway look like a couple of weeks ago on the roof. Somewhat lost and sad. It awakened inside of Tony the lust to wreck Loki’s ex-boyfriend’s car or to send him a very vicious computer virus. Only that this time that scumbag hadn’t done anything, he wasn’t even here. So this one was on Tony which made him feel like an actual piece like shit. How could the mere expression on someone’s face make you feel so utterly terrible? “Lokes? Did I say something wrong?”

“I have no idea what to do. I am without…” Loki stopped as if he was talking in another language and had forgotten that exact word. “… purpose. I had a purpose once. I was born to fulfil a certain role. Which was a lie… I failed the new purpose that I was given… which was probably a good thing. Then I was put into a prison cell to rot away. I escaped that and now… now I almost find myself missing the simplicity of the cell. I didn’t have to think about what I’m going to do…”

Loki’s eyes were fixed on the table in front of them, but he was so obviously not looking at it. Tony for his part was completely overwhelmed. Only minutes ago Loki had refused to tell Tony anything and now he was suddenly confessing something so deeply personal that Tony wasn’t sure he was even supposed to hear it.

So Loki did feel lost…

“Look, you… that’s alright. A lot of people go through that. Not knowing what to do with their life… that can happen all the time. But unlike you most people don’t have so many opportunities. You can go anywhere, you have magic… there are tons of things you can do.”

Green eyes send shivers down his spine and Loki whispered softly “Like what? What can I do that will not just be… passing time?”

“If you do something that you enjoy… it’s never just passing time. This right here…” Tony gestured around the room and eventually between the two of them. “Is this just passing time?”

Tony’s heart jumped into his throat as soon as he had finished and that wasn’t like him. Usually Tony was a cold, slippery son of a bitch. He didn’t get nervous during a conversation. Definitely not enough for his heart to start beating faster.

Dreading Loki’s reaction, because there no other word to describe it, Tony kept sitting there, watching with attentive eyes how Loki looked around. Seemingly searching for something. Eventually Loki’s calm gaze focused on him. “No, I don’t think so. It’s not enough though.”

“You want adventure in the great wide somewhere?” Tony used his sing-sung voice and Loki merely blinked at him in confusion. “What? You’ve never seen the Beauty and the Beast? Oh, we gotta watch it. The animated version though. The new one sucks, Hermione can’t sing… Anyway… you want something to do, I get that. Most people in that situation get a job.”

That proposal was ridiculous and Loki confirmed that giving Tony a lazy look that said ‘Have you lost your mind?’.

“A hobby?”

“Just passing time.”

Admittedly, Loki was making this really hard for him, but Tony had his best ideas under pressure. Except for now. The thought that came to his mind was insane and Loki should just laugh out loud and forget about it instantly. Thinking about it again, was it really that crazy? Tony had started this evening by pondering about how Loki had become his friend. Kind of.

Sure, this was a horrible idea and it could end up in killing Tony, but he had only just made the experience, that everything and everyone could turn out to be a threat to his life. Also Tony was sick of being lonely. Loki was lonely too and melancholic. Even more so than Tony. Like this it wasn’t so hard to admit that Tony wanted him to stay around.

“I have a third suggestion.”

Still interested Loki made a gesture that indicated him to go on. “You could just stay here. I have a lot of space.”

After the last weeks nothing but immediate lethal danger should make Tony’s heart start racing. Not asking Loki to move in with him.

To his immense relief Loki didn’t pull a face or burst out laughing. “And do what?”

“Well, you may have noticed that there are several empty spots on my team now. I could use some help and let’s be honest, you would be incredibly useful. You know, unlimited strength and the entire magic thing. That would be a purpose.”

Now Loki was laughing anyway. At least Tony thought that the sound coming out of his throat might be a laugh. “You want me to be an Avenger?”

Tony had gone this far, he wouldn’t back out now. “I don’t think that this name still applies… Why not? You said you didn’t know what to do with yourself and you obviously don’t want to go back to your… enslaving mankind and killing people stick. You would have already done that if you really wanted to. I’m sure I could learn a lot from you. And without wanting to brag, there are one or two things I could show you. Also you would still get the opportunity to beat up some people… and in between we could hang out and watch Netflix any time you want.”

So many emotions in one single smile. Mostly disbelief. “This is absurd.”

In response Tony shrugged. “What isn’t?”

Loki didn’t speak for another five minutes and eventually gave such a small nod that Tony would have missed it if his eyes hadn’t been glued to Loki’s face. “Alright. Let’s try and see if it works out.”

Tony’s mouth dropped open, because he hadn’t expected that answer and didn’t know what to do about it now. Fortunately he had himself back under control one second later and reached for his glass. “Let’s seal it with a drink.”

They clinked their glasses and after taking a sip Loki went back to being silent. They had come to an agreement, why continue talking when he could watch Netflix. Tony felt a small smile forming on his lips while thinking about which floor he should clear out for Loki.


End file.
